Lord,

I treasure those moments when I am alone with you and your presence embraces me like the arms of a loving father who embraces his little girl when she is afraid or sad. These solitary moments mean the world to me. When I'm with you, the solid brick walls I have built around my heart come down like dry sand and I can be myself, feeling confident that I am still loved despite my flaws and failures - you even love me for my flaws and failures. I will never fully understand that love you have for mankind, which moved you to become one of us in order to take up our sins and die in our place so that we could live, but I am so grateful for the sacrifice you made. I love you with every fibre of my being, you are the fullness of my joy that makes everything else worthwhile. I would never want to go back to the days when I believed I could live without you, because then I wasn't even really living. You have brought profound joy to my life, you poured it over me like water, and your peace like oil. You nourish my hope and make it bloom as if it were perpetual spring. I don't have much to give in return, but you have my esteem and my obedience. I want to humble myelf before you every single day so that my heart becomes a pure and sacred place where you love to live. This is my only wish, that you may use me for your purpose and your success, not mine.

He must increase, but I must decrease. - John 3:30

Sam, Esther and Jane

"Most organized religions, sadly, devote much of their time and energy to defending dogma or destroying dissonance. When kneeling before a fragile little boy like Sam, those kind of petty and immature religious practices dissolve into a sea of insignificance. Love is all that matters. And love compels us to reach out for Sam and Esther."

I am ashamed beyond words as I am learning a lesson about life from an 8-year-old, starving little girl. This is the result of our hipocrisy. What was I doing while Sam and Esther lay in the dirt? Probably wasting time defending dogma...

The more evidence I see of the crying shame in our world, the more I feel compelled to move out of my comfort zone and do whatever is in my power to make a change. I have devoted half of my life to substantiating my faith. Now I feel it is time to actually live out what I believe.


What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. - James 2:14-17

Prayer

Lord,

Help me accept the things I cannot change or understand

and cultivate an unwavering faith in me that is grounded in hope

so that my life can become a light to those who live in darkness.

Teach me your ways of love

and show me how to forgive others like you forgive me

so that I learn to love people with a love that is unconditional, pure and selfless.

Wake me up when I have fallen asleep in my cradle of comfort and luxury

and remind me of the greater plans you have entrusted to me

so that I will never grow tired from walking on the path you have chosen for me.

Keep me from constantly feeling bitter and cynical about this cruel world;

instead, help me save my energy and resources for doing good wherever I am

so that I can make a few little changes that may have a positive impact on the lives of others.

Help me deal with frustrations and failures

and lead my attention to where my strengths and skills lie

so that I can serve and help others despite my imperfections.

Give me strength to resist the temptations I encounter

and help me stay focused on what is good and acceptable in your eyes

so that my mind, heart and body as a whole will be a holy temple where you love to reside.

Break my proud heart and keep my feet firmly on the ground

and make me weep for the world that you love so much

so that I will be moved to be used by you as a comforter and healer to the broken and wounded.

Lift me up as I am humbling myself before you

and set my feet upon the mighty rock that is Christ

so that I can grow stronger and fulfill my purpose for which I have been called.

A single day

7:46 a.m. why snooze tired grumpy duties decisions eyes open remember alive gift grateful God.
Door staircase steps kitchen glass milk bread honey orchids Mom window green yard beautiful grateful God.
Laundry basement cold socks coffee table news Somalia Kenya refugee camps shame terrible tears ashamed safe home grateful God.
Room mess run research paper due pressure music escape angry tired complete failure illiterate books remember privilege grateful God. 
Shower foam funny dryer perfume clothes shoes lovely friends loved plate vegetarian yummy happy grateful God.
Home dark bed silence doubts questions tossed Self alone lonely unloved remember Jesus sacrifice grateful God.

... God.

You Know

Rise to the depths of my bliss,

Descend to the pinnacle of my grief.

You know where.

Strip me of my masks and unfounded smiles

And cover my eye that has seen the void.

You know how.

Feel my tales of wonders witnessed

And pour your music into my speechless cosmos.

You know why.

On our side

"You could just be silent 

And leave us here to die
Still, you sent your son for us
You are on our side" - Bethany Dillon

Joy

With my soul's wings crippled

I lay paralyzed under your heavens.

Heavy thoughts weighed on my heart

and left me restless,

craving final relief.

My desperate plea ascended to your ear

and moved your hand to reach down in compassion.

You brought quiet to my storm-tossed mind,

the waves ebbed away at your command.

At your nail-pierced feet I finally knelt

to come and trade my sins for purity,

my tears for laughter,

my wounds for healing,

my insecurities for confidence,

my ashes for beauty,

my past for hope,

my evanescence for eternity.

Now my heart rejoices in you,

I was given a new song of praise.

My soul sings and dances with joy,

for now I walk in perfect grace.

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. - Nehemiah 8:10